It doesn't seem that long ago I was the youngest person in the room. People would ask my age and say, "Oh, still a baby". At the time, it rather offended me. When you begin to get a little age on yourself you realize being called young isn't so bad. Especially when you are in your late 30's and a teenage cashier calls you ma'am and asks if you would like the senior discount. Talk about offended. Before too long you realize nearly 20 years has passed since you started your career. Then your 30 year high school class reunion comes around. Next you are knocking on the door of the big 5-0.
That is where I am now. Almost 50. OK it's 22 months away, but it is still close. As I was working through the hair thing, the make-up thing, the extra weight thing, the gym thing and the food thing it suddenly occurred to me I had it all wrong. All my effort was focused on bringing back 20 something. Every time I looked in the mirror I was visualizing who I used to be. I saw that brand new nurse, size 6, long (not so grey) hair, and less wrinkled person who still had the ability to turn a head or two. My desire was to see that person again in my reflection. How utterly silly is that? I know in my head I am never going to regain youth. So, why was I trying so hard to find it?
The bible tells us in Proverbs 31:30,
"Charm is deceit, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
How true it that! Not a question, but a fact. Charm can be rather deceitful and beauty is vanity neither of which stands the test of time. It is fleeting at best - there for a moment and gone just as quickly. Why am I spending so much time on the outward appearance? Then I remembered another bible verse which says,
That's right, He is looking on the inside. Checking for the development of inner qualities such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentheness, faithfulness and self-control (The Fruits of the Spirit). How much time am I spending on those I wonder? If I put as much effort into developing traits which are "imperishable" how much more beautiful would I be to Him and to the world? I am sure everybody knows somebody who embodies enough of those qualities that you want to be like them. Well, I have known those people. Not many, but a few who I wished I could be more like. When I share that with my husband he will tell me that I am who I am suppose to be. I may not be like so and so, but I have this quality or that quality which makes me good at what I do. He builds me up when my natural instinct is to compare myself to someone else and find fault.
I was not created to be like someone else. I was created to be me. God wants me to travel my own path and work on those things He has just for my life. That is what I have discovered these past few months. He has gifted me with talents that I feared. Secretly, I would re-take the spiritual gifts test hoping for a different answer. It never came. Every time I get the same top three answers. That doesn't mean I don't have other giftings - in fact, He gave me all of them. I just excel at certain ones. Every part of the body is needed to create the whole. I am a necessary part of the body of Christ.
All this to say, I had to let go of 20 something. That time has past and will not return again. The more I think about it, I realize I am grateful to be past those years. It was difficult and challenging and painful and I did not have the Lord to guide me. Sometimes it is still those things, but I am much better equipped to handle it. Now, I want my focus to be on developing the inner qualities which will be beautiful in His sight. Ultimately, that is all that matters and fortunately He already sees me as a beautiful creation.
How do you see yourself? Where is your focus? Are you expending energy on the outside or the inside? Take some time to think about what would be more valuable in the long run.
Telling my story and giving HIM glory!
Mally
 |
| Morning Sunrise in Florida |
The bible tells us in Proverbs 31:30,
"Charm is deceit, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
How true it that! Not a question, but a fact. Charm can be rather deceitful and beauty is vanity neither of which stands the test of time. It is fleeting at best - there for a moment and gone just as quickly. Why am I spending so much time on the outward appearance? Then I remembered another bible verse which says,
"But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:4
That's right, He is looking on the inside. Checking for the development of inner qualities such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentheness, faithfulness and self-control (The Fruits of the Spirit). How much time am I spending on those I wonder? If I put as much effort into developing traits which are "imperishable" how much more beautiful would I be to Him and to the world? I am sure everybody knows somebody who embodies enough of those qualities that you want to be like them. Well, I have known those people. Not many, but a few who I wished I could be more like. When I share that with my husband he will tell me that I am who I am suppose to be. I may not be like so and so, but I have this quality or that quality which makes me good at what I do. He builds me up when my natural instinct is to compare myself to someone else and find fault.
I was not created to be like someone else. I was created to be me. God wants me to travel my own path and work on those things He has just for my life. That is what I have discovered these past few months. He has gifted me with talents that I feared. Secretly, I would re-take the spiritual gifts test hoping for a different answer. It never came. Every time I get the same top three answers. That doesn't mean I don't have other giftings - in fact, He gave me all of them. I just excel at certain ones. Every part of the body is needed to create the whole. I am a necessary part of the body of Christ.
All this to say, I had to let go of 20 something. That time has past and will not return again. The more I think about it, I realize I am grateful to be past those years. It was difficult and challenging and painful and I did not have the Lord to guide me. Sometimes it is still those things, but I am much better equipped to handle it. Now, I want my focus to be on developing the inner qualities which will be beautiful in His sight. Ultimately, that is all that matters and fortunately He already sees me as a beautiful creation.
How do you see yourself? Where is your focus? Are you expending energy on the outside or the inside? Take some time to think about what would be more valuable in the long run.
Telling my story and giving HIM glory!
Mally
Comments