This past week I made the decision to comment on an Instagram post. Normally, in fact, nearly always, I keep my comments about what I see to myself. I do this because in this day and age people will attack you in an instant for an opinion you share on social media. That is exactly what happened. Within moments I was being criticized as a "hater" and "dissing women". All of this because I said I felt a dress was too short for the public figure who was wearing it. I would not have said anything about the length if I had not seen the person in a seated position with her legs crossed. Once she crossed her legs the photo showed most of her thigh rather high up. If she had not crossed her legs there would perhaps have been no issue. I felt that for the event and her position seeing that much of her leg was just not appropriate. Just my opinion.....
Now as a rule I would have just backed off and let it go. This time; however, I felt led to continue in the discussion by pointing out that I was merely expressing an opinion about a dress. This did not constitute hate or dissing someone. I explained why I felt the dress was too short in a polite tone. There were a few people who agreed with my stance. There were a few people who mentioned they had seen another public figure in a similar length dress in the same instance. While that was a valid point and I had also seen this second figure in shorter dresses, what I had not seen was the second figure exposing such a significant amount of her thigh. Why? Because she generally does not cross her legs at the knee but, rather at the ankles.
The back and forth actually continued into the next day. As I was sharing with my husband about the tone of the conversation, I could see he was somewhat disapproving. He felt that I should just "let it go". He indicated that my character and reputation as a Christian was in play. He is correct. However, I was not being un-Christian like in how I addressed these comments. He said, "You aren't going to win this one". My response was that it wasn't about winning but, about interacting with people in a socially polite way. I also said that at what point are you suppose to point out inappropriate behavior in people? If you always say "keep your comments to yourself" isn't it just going to continue to be socially acceptable to be ugly to people? Doesn't the bible tell us to go to a brother/sister in love when correction is needed? He understood but, was unswayed with my arguments on the subject.
I had in the thread posting mentioned that this was part of the problem today. People hide behind the mask of social media making comments, accusation and ugly disgusting comments about others with total disregard to the consequences. These are things that in normal one on one conversation would be utterly unacceptable or would at least illicit negative response. Now it seems that it is perfectly acceptable to say absolutely whatever you are thinking and feeling in the name of "free speech" or "political correctness" or whatever other term is being currently used. Well I am here to say that it is NOT okay with me. I still believe there is a need for respectful and polite discourse in both personal and impersonal interaction.
Our children feel it is not an issue to disrespect authority. Well, frankly adults feel it is not an issue either. I cannot remember a time where cursing at my parents would not have bought me a hand to a body part and some tears - even in my adult years! I still believe in showing respect to the elderly, to police, to those in political office, to anyone no matter how I feel about them and their views. I also still believe you can and should respond kindly on social media even when you disagree with what is being said.
This particular person actually did end up cursing at me. She said she "didn't have a problem with different opinions" and "if I had an argument to bring it on" but then for third time in her postings she sent an emoji with a zipper on it's mouth. I was confused - did she want me to "bring it on" or did she want me to "zip it"? ( I did not point that out to her) As a side note I will say that if you resort to cursing when you are speaking with me than you have already lost the argument. That just shows me you have no way to further support your argument. Incidentally my whole response had been that it wasn't an "argument" but just a "discussion about a dress". My response - my final response - to her was this, "if you are okay with different opinions then why the cursing and zip it emoji?" At that point, I blocked her from my Instagram account and let it go. Ultimately, I do want to honor my husband.
So what is the take away? Well generally social media commenting is probably going to get most of us in hot water. However, there is a time and place for loving, gentle correction. When is that time? Well that is up to you and the Holy Spirit within you. The bible has quite a lot to say on the tongue. So I leave you with this....
"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." Colossians 4:6
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29
"Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble." Proverbs 21:23
"Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people." Titus 3: 1-2
Telling my story and giving HIM glory!
Mally
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