While OASIS Church was being held at the high school, we had a woman attending who decided one day to stop at the local nursing home and see if someone wanted to come. Initially, she had three or four takers. As time passed on, one would be sick or couldn't come for this or that reason. One person; however, has remained faithful so as to wait on the porch each Sunday for someone to come collect him for service. When we are not there he is upset. He quickly tells you the next week that he "Waited a long time last week, but no one came!" We always apologize and try to explain, but he remembers. His name is George.
George has no family. He was never married, never had any children. He worked on the farm his entire life. Now, he lives in the local nursing home and waits for visitors who rarely come. The only people who see him are the owners of the farm where he used to work and those from our church who pick him up each Sunday. He will tell you he is "Going home for a few days" or he "Went home for a few days", but what this really means is that the farm owners picked him up for a special occasion like his birthday or a major holiday. He does get to stay out overnight with them sometimes, but it is rare.
I picked George up yesterday morning and he quickly told me he wanted to go to the Dollar Store for a rug. He also stated, "I have money". I told George we would see what we could do about it after church. I asked him if they ever load the residents up and take them to Wal-Mart or other stores to shop and he replied "No." I also asked what he had done this week and he replied, "Nothing." I was saddened. Those are the same responses I get from him every time I ask those questions. He sits day in and day out in without any hope of going anywhere except on Sunday morning. My husband and I have had several conversations about who will pick George up when we are gone.
If I give it half a thought, my mind wanders to the thousands of elderly people in this country sitting day after day in facilities. Please don't misunderstand that I think placing your loved ones in a nursing home is bad. What I am speaking to is how after they are there they don't always have someone to come see them or to take them places. In this country, it is not uncommon for our elderly to outlive every family member they have. Who cares for them then? Who takes time out of their schedules to just go visit a total stranger? I know I don't.
Working for hospice, I have been in a dozen or more facilities in our area. Each one is the same. There are people who have outlived their family/friends, people who have family who live in another state, people who do not have a good relationship with family and the very lucky few who have loved ones who see them very regularly. In most other countries of the world, the elderly live in the same home with the children. The children and grandchildren care for them until death. One of my patient's has dementia and her husband, with health problems of his own, cares for her in their home. He told me that a friend of his once said, "In my country, we don't put our old people out to pasture and just discard them."
The bible speaks clearly that we are to honor our parents and we will have longevity, "Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that I may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you." (Duet 5:16 ESV). It also tells us to provide and care for them, "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." (1 Tim 5:8 ESV). Perhaps you have a free half an hour to spend chatting with an elderly family member. Listen to their stories and allow them to pass on wisdom. If you are estranged from an elderly parent or family member all I can say is to make it right! Time will pass too quickly and then the words of your heart can never be spoken.
In His service
Mally
Comments