Each morning I post my blog and then open Facebook to post a reminder for everyone to read it. I also look through what has happened since the last time I was on. Yesterday morning I noticed a status from my girlfriend's daughter. She rarely posts anything so I was curious. Apparently one of her friends had taken not just one quiz, but multiple quizzes and had answered them about my girlfriends daughter. I was, frankly, appalled when I saw the titles to some of them: "Do you fool around at work", "Do you fantasize about your friends" and "Do you like my butt". I thought, "WHAT, she is only 12!". I immediately texted my girlfriend to ask her what was up. When she didn't respond, I left a voice message. Of course, she thought something truly horrible was on there. She asked me if her daughter had taken the quiz. I told her no that one of her little friends had about her daughter. She said she would look into it.
I know that my girlfriend is definitely on top of what is happening with her child as we have had numerous conversations about it. I mentioned that Facebook was suppose to be for 13 and older and she told me that had been the case, but the rule had recently changed. I am sure I over reacted to the posting, but all I could think was my surrogate niece would open these quizzes and who knows what kind of questions they would ask, putting curiosities in her head. Worse than that, some weirdo would be perusing little girls Facebook pages and see that she had done this quiz and that would spur him to message her. I don't have children of my own, so I know it was worse case scenario in my imagination. Later in the day, my girlfriend texted me to say she had spoken to her daughter and was told by her she thought "those quizzes were stupid". My girlfriend did expand the Facebook rules to include that if she was caught taking any of those quizzes there would be consequences. I asked if I was still in the child's good graces and was assured that I was.
My Facebook page had been dormant for some time. I just didn't have any interest in keeping up with it all. After multiple conversations with various church leaders about how much interaction of church members occurs on the site, I decided to "re-open" my account. I felt Steve and I needed every means possible to get the word out about our new church and to communicate in whatever capacity we could. Within several days, I had a church attender (our new church) ask to be my friend. I eagerly accepted and hoped before too long I could be keeping up with others as well. I have to admit, a lot of communication does occur on there. People are reminded about church activities, called into service, and notified about major life events. I decided to make an effort to utilize it in a christian capacity as much as it would allow.
Preface: I totally support our constitutional rights to free speech! I just think we can express our opinions without using foul language and/or bashing people.
So, to date I have had to block three friends because they were using swear words on my page. I mean the big one too. Really? Why? I have had to "hide" numerous stories for various other reasons. I spend each morning and evening looking through the posts to check for inappropriate language, inappropriate comments, bigotry, and whatever else I deem not worthy of a Pastor's Wife page. It is a shame really. If I have to block someone they can't see my page either. This means they cannot be exposed to Christ, my daily blog or any other positive or encouraging things which may show up. I recognize this is social media, but do you really have to tell everything about your day, including those things deemed only appropriate topics for your own home? Do you recognize there are people of all ages looking at your posts, perhaps even your children? Do you know you set an example with your words and your actions? Is there really a need to talk about your life using swear words? I am not trying to sound like some goody two shoes, but seriously can we not as a society censor ourselves to some degree.
I truly do understand the modern age in which we live. I know the internet, Facebook, Twitter, email, text, Skype, etc are not going to go away. I know that within another year, there will probably be some other application that propels us even further into our gadgets and farther away from face to face communication. How in the world would we ever survive today with snail mail. Just because we have these tools available to us, doesn't mean they don't come with some responsibility. I have been told by people that if they were not on Facebook they would never know what is going on with their kids/grandkids. How sad is that? I guess then you need to be looking at who your children are talking to and what is being said. The bible tells us that it takes a community to raise a child. I guess I just didn't expect the community to be Facebook. Today; however, that became the case with my girlfriend's daughter. Me, a part of her Facebook community, checked in on her pre-teen and voiced concern.
You cannot control what other people write, but you can control what you write. You can also control what shows up on your page. You do not have to participate or contribute to inappropriate conversation. You can block people who repeatedly put things on your page you find offensive. You can set an example in what and how you post. Words are meant to encourage and edify; not to destroy. Let your words build up those around you.
In His service
Mally
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